Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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