trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
