Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
youre lurking in front of me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize