Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
