I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
