I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
