Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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