You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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