That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
