My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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