She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
