The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
