Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
