I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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