like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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