Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
