I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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