I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's never too late to be topless.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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