I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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