he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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