Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
its liver damage thursday
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize