Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
