ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
