Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
