so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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