And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
