No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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