So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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