you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
