Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
