I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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