apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
