He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
