chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
