So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
