Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
