I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
