check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
