too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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