I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize