yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
