so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
