hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
