Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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