that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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