cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize