absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
