Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
