she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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