Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
