Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you had me at cake vodka
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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