I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
