idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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