it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
