we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
