I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
