She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
