i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize