he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I won the penis lottery.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
