And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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