I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize