five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
