Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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