You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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