I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
