A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
