I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
