The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
