2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
