I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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