wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
