A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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