ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
