Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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